Six Strategies to Stop Spiraling Thoughts
How to interrupt and gain control over negative cycles
Have you ever been the victim of negative, spiraling thoughts? The answer (if you’re a living, breathing human being) is likely, “Yes.” It’s a natural tendency, a survival technique, caused by our own advanced capability to practice deep introspection. But, when managed constructively, it also can be within our power to control.
When Introspection Becomes Destructive
Introspection—our ability to examine our own thoughts and feelings—is one of our most powerful gifts. It allows us to recognize patterns in our behavior, uncover the motivations behind our choices, and identify areas for personal growth. Through self-reflection, we gain clarity about what truly matters to us, we can replay interpersonal conflicts and conversations, and we subsequently develop the wisdom to align our actions with our values. Without it, we risk moving through life on autopilot, disconnected from our deeper purpose and potential and foregoing the possibility of developing meaningful connections and interpersonal relationships.
However, we can often take introspection a bit too far… We think about that mistake at work, that awkward interaction at the coffee shop, or that argument with a loved one. And then we think about it again. And again. And again. We think that we can think our way out of it, but, instead, we end up—as psychologist and “Chatter” author Ethan Kross describes— “flooded by how bad we feel…This type of repetitive negative thought, which I call mental chatter, concentrates our attention on our emotional distress and can send us into a downward spiral.”
Stopping Spirals: The Ultimate Strategy
There are ways we can stop this “chatter,” or negative thought spirals, before they start or just as they’re beginning. These are my top six strategies, pulled from a mixture of personal experience and research.
Gain an objective perspective. This may look different, depending on what works for you. Third-person self-talk, visualizing yourself outside of your current situation (such as, in one hour, one month, or one year from now), or even just shifting your worldview (quite literally, losing your head in the clouds) can be what you need to snap yourself out of the spiral and gain a new outlook.
Focus on your senses. Feel the ground beneath your feet; focus on counting your breaths, slowly, in and out; try to name five things you can see, hear, or smell. Your surroundings can serve to anchor yourself and break the cycle you’re currently caught in. When we are focusing on physical sensations, our brain is transported away from our thoughts, even if only for a minute.
Seek social support. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you’re thinking, why you’re thinking it, and what you hope to gain from any given situation. Leaning on others is human, and nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. When someone asks, “How are you?,” answer honestly.
Find your coping mechanism. What do you do when life feels heavy? For some, this may be journaling, creative expression, mindfulness meditations, exercise, or something else entirely. Whatever gets you out of a slump can be just what you need to disrupt spiraling thoughts.
Practice self-care. Are you taking care of yourself physically, mentally, socially, and emotionally? Your self-care routine may be helping or hurting your overall mental health, so ensure you are doing the right things to set yourself up for success. As they say on airplanes, “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” Similarly, making sure you are working from a grounded place with a full cup can be essential when it comes to attempting to handle negative thoughts that arise. If we are already suffering, a negative thought can feel much, much heavier than it truly is.
Front-end when and where possible. We may not be able to control all of the factors in our environment that may lead to negative spirals, but we can often control some! Perform an audit: is the nightly news sending you to sleep with depressing thoughts? Perhaps adjust your routine (and what and who has access to you!) to try to front-end things that could serve as triggers.
Which strategy speaks most to you? Every individual is different, and what works for you may not work for someone else. So, the next time you find yourself in a spiral, try out a new strategy, or mix and match until you find your magic formula.
When we nail our strategy, negative thoughts can shift from seeming like overwhelming roadblocks into becoming signals that guide us toward growth and resilience. Plus, when we overcome negative thoughts once or twice, we gain the confidence that we can handle future, similar situations.
Next Steps: Gaining Control
Of course, we may not be able to stop negative thoughts entirely, but we can lessen their detrimental effects on our lives. As I mentioned, negative thoughts—and the anxiety, depression, and mood swings that can come with them—are inherently human. But, you can manage them better and positively impact your mental and emotional wellbeing!
Plus, you don’t have to face it all alone. I’m here to help and ready to meet you where you’re at. Reach out. I’d love to help you get started on which strategy is best for you.
