Managing Perfectionism: From Pressure To Power
How to transform your tendency to be a perfectionist into your own personal superpower.
While striving to do well is inevitably met with admiration, the idea of being a “perfectionist” often holds a negative connotation. But, why? With perfectionism comes to mind the tendencies to be rigid, anxious, and even unfulfilled. Perfectionism can promote the notion that good isn’t good enough, and achievements are uncelebrated as they merely serve as building blocks to the next horizon.
However, as Katherine Morgan Schaffer, author of “The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control,” says: “Perfectionism is not a pathology, and treating it like one is causing countless people — mostly women — to suffer needlessly.”
Redefining Perfectionism: The Benefits and Perks
So, how can we redefine perfectionism—not as a pathology, but as a POWER?
We can start by looking at the benefits of perfectionism:
Perfectionism drives excellence. Perfectionists are achievement-oriented, and often keep their goals as the backbones of their daily habits.
Perfectionism sharpens attention to detail. Perfectionism and sloppiness don’t typically go hand in hand. With perfectionists, mistakes are less likely to slip by.
Perfectionism fosters reliability. And, on that same note, perfectionists are often punctual, reliable, and go-to friends, colleagues, and trusted partners, often holding themselves accountable and following through on commitments. Whether at work or in personal relationships, their consistency builds trust.
Perfectionism fuels growth. What two things do go hand in hand? Perfectionist tendencies and a growth mindset. Contrary to those with “fixed mindsets,” those with “growth mindsets” value feedback, continually work to improve, and don’t give up when hurdles arise.
Perfectionism sparks creativity. Sometimes, perfectionists strive to grow so much that their boundaries are pushed into the realm of creative breakthroughs. Unique solutions come to their fingertips, which others may not often pursue.
So, after all, perfectionism has its perks! When viewed through this rose-colored lens, perfectionism becomes less of a burden and more of a personal advantage.
Strategies to Transform Perfectionism Into Your Power:
However, if you identify as a “perfectionist” AND find yourself struggling with the stress and anxiety that perfectionism may bring, don’t worry. There are strategies available to help you cope and even thrive, while still setting your goals high.
These are my five best strategies to put you back in control:
Practice setting tiered goals. Perfectionists can get drawn into the black-and-white thinking of, “If I don’t achieve XYZ, I’m a failure.” Reframe your goals into three (or more, if you’re inclined) tiers: good, better, and best. This way, not achieving your highest standard isn’t a failure; it’s an accomplishment of a smaller goal which can serve as a stepping stone to your bigger picture. Suppose your goal is to finish that book you’ve always wanted to write. You can make “good, better, and best” goals for when to have that first chapter completed.
Strive for progress over perfection. If your life doesn’t necessarily fall into “goal-oriented” categories, overcoming perfectionism may look a lot like valuing progress. Perhaps your house isn’t spotless, but your Sunday cleaning day certainly made a dent in cleaning up the play room. Focus on wins (no matter how small).
Focus on why perfectionism is positive in your life. Reference our “benefits” list above. Don’t start a spiral of negative thinking when you feel perfectionism is playing a negative role in your mental health; instead, focus on the flip sides of why perfectionism makes a positive impact in your life and in making you YOU. Your desire to do well in your career may feel stressful, but that’s also what makes you such a valuable employee that your coworkers know they can count on. What other positive aspects come to mind when you think of your own life?
Implement relaxation techniques. We all need more time for relaxation practices in our lives; and perfectionists, often, even more so. Find what works for you—meditation, yoga, journaling, to name a few—and schedule time in your calendar. These practices can control your thoughts and focus or reframe them in the right direction.
Choose self-compassion over self-criticism. When was the last time you “failed”? Now, think of how you talked to yourself. Was it the same tone, words, and sentiment you would use to talk to a good friend in the same situation? Often, we’re harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else, which can lead to spiraling thoughts, a negative outlook, and even more anxiety about the future and upcoming goals. Setbacks will happen, but how you overcome them is up to you. Practice positive self-talk!
Challenge yourself. As I mentioned, setbacks will happen. And the best way to force us to learn how to overcome them? Trying something outside of our comfort zones. Seek out a new hobby or pursue an interest that you’re not “naturally” good at, or even something that you’re bound to struggle with, such as learning a new language. Learning to be a “beginner” can be groundbreaking in overcoming the negative tendencies that perfectionism can bestow.
Next Steps: Managing Your Personal Case of Perfectionism
Do you feel like a superhero yet? Perfectionism really can be your superpower, with the right mindset and strategies in place.
I’m here to help and equip you with more knowledge and best practices to feel the power that perfectionism can bring. No matter how you’re struggling, please know: You don’t have to face it alone.
Schedule a consultation today and let us uncover how we can help you get where you want to be.
